A week ago we were in forty degree Celsius heat, last night in the Snowy Mountains we were met by two degrees Celsius and icy winds. With some creative navigation (and a little luck) we managed to locate “The Cabin In The Woods” thus allowing us to sleep inside where it was a balmy four degrees Celsius. This unfortunately only lasted until the fire wood ran out at which time the temperature outside may have been incrementally warmer. All I know is I awoke in the morning thinking I was a candidate for some sort of trans-gender experiment.

By the way…. That’s about it. After a round about tour of the Brindabella Ranges we made it to the coastal Sanctuary Point Holiday House where the wind continues to blow.

Cast and Crew: Peter, Garry and myself.

Fuel: Lots and lots.

Kilometers: Many. 7,600 Kilometers in 16 days.

Route: Richmond, Narrabri, Wee Waa, Lightning Ridge, Quilpie, Boulia, Birdsville, Tropic Of Capricorn, Alice Springs, Finke Gorge, West Macdonell Ranges, Lambert’s Centre, Woomera, Coober Pedy, (Port Augusta), Burra, Lake Mungo, The Snowy Mountains, Sanctuary Point and many other places with strange names then back to Grose Vale.

Happy Birthday to Peter and Garry may they both enjoy many more trips even without the help of Yarrangabilly’s waters.

Once again, I’m out of here. Thank you linesmen thank you ball boys.

In this episode I attempt to identify the real Willy Wonker . To conduct the research I have chosen the Junee Licorice and Chocolate Factory as there is no actual Willy Wonker factory….. sorry kids, you have been hoodwinked, there is no river of chocolate no Oompa-Loompas it’s all pretense and no one feels more shorted than me!

Willy proved to be illusive however a couple of Ommpa-Loompas were recorded.

From Junee via the Snowy Mountains which will take us to Yarrangabilly and into the tomorrow-land episode…… The Cabin In The Woods.

The Yarrangabilly Thermal Fountain of Youth was out of order the day we visited, Pete spent many minutes in the magical waters for no obvious benefit.

By the way….. The Fountain of Youth has never worked. It’s a bit like the Chocolate Factory, FALLACIOUS! I have tried it twice now and although it has kept me middle-aged I’m no younger.

Written history dates back to about three o’clock Wednesday afternoon in the year five thousand BCE or roughly seven thousand years ago. In 1968 and again in 1974 the remains of two people were found at Lake Mungo. The two individuals, one male one female, are thought to be six times older than recorded history and they are far from the oldest humans ever found. That’s all I’m prepared to say on the matter.

The now dry Lake Mungo

By the way….

1. The Thylacine (Tasmanian Tiger, above) once found all over mainland Australia went extinct about 3200 years ago due to the introduction of the Dingo (native dog) bought here by the early aboriginal settlers. The last recorded Thylacine died in a zoo in Tasmania in 1936. Food for thought.

2. The self guided tour and loop track were closed due to “poor road surface” and as the ranger said while looking to the sky “some other ongoing issues”.

Port Augusta is sometimes referred to as the Crossroads of Australia because it is located where major highways meet, serving as a major gateway to the Flinders Ranges, the outback, and the Nullarbor Plain and that’s about it for Port Augusta. Pete’s brother Garry was supposed to pick up some stuff from someone to deliver to someone else in N.S.W. however that got cancelled so I guess Port Augusta nearly made it as a transport hub.

As a result of the transport cancellation we by-passed the main town and headed straight for Burra, an old mining town and due to our extreme flexibility and disdain of bad weather booked into an old Cornish miners cottage for the night.

We were due to meet Ding at 10am however Ding has moved the meet back to lunchtime so we will have to soak up some history for a few hours.

UPDATE. Ding has now cancelled the meeting, apparently lots of things are getting cancelled. So that’s just more history and pictures.

By the way ……Were you wondering who Ding is? Well Ding is an enigmatic individual who, whilst in the employ of The Royal Australian Air Force was left too long in a room full of highly sensitive microwave generated information. Ding is now on a pension as a result. So whats Ding’s real name…. not even Ding’s mother has that level of clearance.

The Woomera Prohibited Area is the largest land-based missile and rocket range in the western world. Initially a joint project between Britain and Australia, the site continues to host space activities for Australian and international defense and aerospace organizations. Woomera was also chosen as the best location for Deep Space Station 41. However there is too much history to list here.

By the way….A woomera is an Australian Aboriginal wooden spear throwing device. But you already knew that. What you may not know is that David Bowie’s iconic character Major Tom was based on Doctor David Bowman, who was played by Keir Dullea in Stanley Kubrick’s film 2001: A Space Odyssey. Bowie began writing “Space Oddity” six months after seeing the movie, which was released in May 1968.

Did you find the Hart?

Originally dubbed the Afghan Express, The Ghan train was named for the pioneering cameleers who blazed a permanent trail into the Red Centre of Australia.

Middle Earth (or for our purposes the geographic centre of Australia) known as Lambert’s Centre was established to honour cartographer, Dr Bruce Lambert, one of Australia’s top cartographers.

By the way …… Tonight we return to the underground of our forebears “Far, far below the deepest delving of the Dwarves, the world is gnawed by nameless things. Even Sauron knows them not. They are older than he.” In short we are staying in an underground motel in Coober Pedy.

The West MacDonnell Ranges, known as Tjoritja to the local Aranda people, are a mountain range west of Alice Springs , famous for their rugged beauty, gorges, and cultural significance. The most popular time to visit is during the cooler months of April–September so we are going in November to get the full experience of maximum heat and flies. There will be less people though since people generally heed Noël Coward’s warning that “Mad Dogs and Englishmen go out in the midday sun” (a song written for his The Third Little Show at the Music Box Theatre, New York, on 1 June 1931.)

So we did the West Mac Ranges as the locals recognize it and it took its toll in various ways. I unsuccessfully battled a spiky palm in palm valley and waded through crotch deep water. The ute battled unmarked water crossings up to door height and survived. Peter, forced to walk more than his usual literally walked the sole off his right shoe. Pictures naturally follow.

By the way ….. Gandalf is about to be taken up! and we are heading for air conditioned Alice (Alice, Alice, who the …… is Alice)

CLICK PICS TO MAKE BIG.

Part two of Peter’s big day out and we have left Birdsville and are heading for Alice Springs. On our way we will have to negotiate the MinMin lights, forty two degree heat and various other hazards (emus, kangaroos, cows, eagles and the possible onset of respiratory infections like asthma and colds, gastrointestinal illnesses such as gastroenteritis, and skin infections like impetigo and hand, foot, and mouth disease). Fortunately our large wooden medical kit well equipped with tinctures (described by Merriam Websters dictionary as “a solution of a medicinal substance in an alcoholic solvent“) so I have no reason to think that we will not prevail in our quest. My only concern is what the actual quest is! Anyway to the photographic evidence.

By the way…… 1. Pete’s brother was 76 today, he is the one with the beard and glasses. 2. We saw no MInMIn lights and the tinctures kept all other woes at bay and 3. We are currently sitting in the dark as we are blacked out in our fancy cabin at Alice Springs.

Tomorrow …. Finke Gorge weather permitting.

In celebration of Peter, against all odds making it to 70 sometimes inglorious years of age a lap around Central Australia was suggested or perhaps just evolved. The logic of this trip is about to be tested as three ageing would be nomads strike out north and then west to test the patience of each other and that of the local indigenous personnel.

This brief summary of the sojourn will be by design mostly pictorial as at least some of it’s target audience have not read much since starting on Winnie the Pooh some years ago (currently on chapter three Pooh meets Piglet).

So, brief outline of trip… Richmond, Narrabri, Lightning Ridge, Cunnamulla, Quilpie, Birdsville, Alice Springs, Finke, Coober Pedy, Port Augusta, Silverton, Broken Hill, Home…and a few stops in between.

Narrabri

Quilpie

Eromanga

Birdsville

When the first cave man left his cave to search for food he probably got lost. Having spent the night in the wild with Sabre Toothed tigers and such he no doubt learned from this experience. On his next foray into the wilds he may have dragged a stick behind him to leave a mark in the ground thinking that would guide him back to his humble hole in a rock. This certainly worked until it rained. Eventually he drew charcoal pictures on the cave wall mapping out various landmarks like, big rock that looks like Mammoth…. hmm…..Mammoth Rock. To augment the map he added  potential food sources like Cronopio dentiacutus, which is in fact a prehistoric squirrel with big teeth (not unlike the one in the Ice Age movie). Starting to put A and B together now, Cave Man realises that by drawing pictures on bark he can take his “map” with him and by orienting the map with the location of the sun he can find all the Cronopio dentiacutus he needs and more importantly the cave. This important breakthrough was the start of  navigation as we know it. Moving forward man develops the compass, topographic maps, geometry, celestial navigation and the ultimate tool “The Global Positioning System” or G.P.S.. Originally Navstar GPS, G.P.S. is a satellite-based radionavigation system owned by the United States government and operated by the United States Air Force. This system is deadly accurate (often within 30 cm). I mention all this because armed with this cutting edge technology we were confident of finding our evening’s accommodation, but could our G.P.S. find the La Munte Hotel in Anilio Greece, oh no that was beyond it, much to difficult. Worse was yet to come, seeing as we hadn’t had much call for our bark map paintings in recent times we foolishly left them at home, so we had no backup plan to find the La Munte Hotel in Anilio Greece. What we did find were lots of goat trails, shear cliffs and even a ski trail at the top of a mountain ridge which necessitated some serious cursing to facilitate extrication of car and occupants. On top of this it would seem the Greek roads up in the hills out of the tourist route are not as well maintained as they could be in fact some are slipping down the mountain in big slabs. I’m rambling here a bit, so to cut to the end game, we did find the La Munte Hotel in Anilio Greece, this was achieved by the old age method of “dumb luck” but not before I managed, without any outside assistance from either G.P.S. or bark maps not only demonstrate a complete lack of orienteering skill but also to create a new under body shape to our not very old and now not so straight Hyundai station wagon…. not pleased, not pleased at all. But hey, like Garry said at least it’s now got more ground clearance!

One good thing did come of our map-less wanderings. We located who we think to be Garry’s Greek relatives…. the long lost and almost forgotten Lalaloupsis. It appears they now run a fantastic little Taverna in Anilio that serves the best Greek salad and grilled lamb dishes in town (I know what you’re thinking, it’s the only Taverna in town…..wrong there are at least 2 others but they were closed). So here are a couple of pictures of Anilio, the revised Hyundai, and most importantly………….”the relatives”.

View from hotel.

Modified Hyundai

Garry eating lamb like a Lalaloopsi.

Potential Relatives?

By the way, I should mention that we are unable to positively state that the people pictured above are in fact the Lalaloopsi family members that Kerry insists actually exist. Our inability to speak Greek and their total lack of English skills may have led to some confusion concerning both menu selection and genealogy, plus we had had a couple of carafes of some quite fruity local red liquid which I suspect may have contained at least some alcohol. Lovely people though and not just relatively speaking.