Each time I visit a Zoo lately I find I come away depressed. It’s nice to see the wild animals and all but each visit seems to present more bad news about the plight of the animals. Seeing them caged up (like wild animals as the saying goes) is also depressing. I understand the need to raise public awareness by education and to help protect endangered species, however I am pessimistic about the likely outcome.

The Highland Wildlife Park an hour out of Inverness is probably doing a great job as far as zoo keeping goes however I take extreme exception to the child amusement section, a picture is worth a thousand words so this is my major bitch for the day (possibly for the whole trip, but don’t get you’re hopes up).

Child amusement section of the Zoo…. Shoot the Animals! Absolutely unbelievable!

For anyone more interested in animals than training children to see them as targets here are some lovely pictures taken by the official photographer.

Polar Bear, Amur Tiger, Red Panda, Scottish Wild Cat, White Lipped Dear.

To finish the day we did a quick tour of  Inverness followed by a tour of the Culloden Battlefield. On 16 April 1746, the final Jacobite Rising came to a brutal head. Jacobite supporters, seeking to restore the Stuart monarchy to the British throne, gathered to fight the Duke of Cumberland’s government troops. It was the last pitched battle on British soil and, in less than an hour, around 1,500 men were slain, more than 1,000 of them Jacobites. Unfortunately both the Chalmers (Cameron) and Robertson ancestors were on the losing side.

Cairn.

400 Cameron Starters.

Mass Grave Headstone

By the way, Jacobites wanted to restore James II and his descendants to the English and Scottish throne after the Glorious Revolution of 1688. They take their name from the Latin form (Jacobus) of the name James.

Ben Nevis is the highest mountain in the British Isles at 1,345 metres above sea level and that makes it a big deal here. By comparison Mount Kosciuszko in Australia is 2,228 metres. It’s good to know we can beat England at more than just cricket, however both are just bumps on the ground compared to the worlds highest mountain, Mt Everest at 8,848 metres. Despite being “not so big” it seems every man and his dog is keen to climb Ben Nevis and this makes for a very busy place. The weather was normal (rain and mist with little chance of sun) so in the end we settled for the view from a bit short of halfway.

A little further up the old military road from Ben Nevis is the spectacular waterfall known variously as An Steall Bàn, Steall Waterfall or Steall Falls it is Scotland’s second highest waterfall with a single drop of 120 metres. Much prettier, less crowded and to add to it’s prestige it carries a “DANGER OF DEATH” warning sign.

The last visit for the day was Inverlochy Castle, built around 1270 by John “the Black” Comyn  Lord of Badenoch and chief of the Comyn Clan. When Robert the Bruce succeeded to the Scottish throne in 1306, the Comyns, his rivals for the crown, were dispossessed, and the castle was unoccupied for a time. In 1431, clansmen of Alexander MacDonald defeated Lord of the Isles King James the first’s larger army in the Battle of Inverloch and the castle came under the control of Clan Cameron. The Chalmers are part of the Cameron Clan so that’s as far as the history of Inverlaochy needs to go.

Day two at Arrochar and it’s relative visiting time again. Due to a logistical miscalculation we ended up driving back to a little north of Edinburgh to visit Garry’s Aunt Molly who’s real name is Marion. Marion is spritely young Scot of eighty seven who by her own admission has porridge only occasionally and prefers Cornflakes (how anti Scottish). Adventurous, self-reliant and with a keen sense of humour, Molly sorry Marion only recently started to use a walking stick after a trip to the garden center resulted in a small mishap;

“I was feeling a wee bit tired from all the walking about so I lent on one of the displays which turned out to be not so solid you know and I ended up in the middle of a sort of floral display with my feet in the air. It took four of the people to put me right again so I thought I’d better get a wee stick to lean on”.

As it has been raining since we arrived in Scotland I asked Marion if it was always this wet to which she replied “Oh no, it’s been a wee bit dry lately.” In fact, Marion who doesn’t like the heat said she didn’t go out much last week because it was up to the mid to high twenties and that’s “to hot for going out”.

Garry in a moment of generosity insisted on taking Marion to lunch of the way to visiting the ancestral home. I suggested maybe some haggis. Marion immediately said “no I don’t like haggis but there’s a couple of wee shops on the way that do a good a bacon sandwich” (no porridge, no haggis……good lord!)

Garry’s ancestral home..

Garry asking Marion how to use his tablet, she has been in I.T. since the early 1960’s.

Just another Bridge.

Pictish Stone on the roadside, the meaning of which is lost in time.

By the way,  a Burn is a small river, a Smiddy is a blacksmith. That makes Garry’s Great Grandfather a blacksmith by a stream I guess.

Arrochar, a feudal barony was held by the chiefs of  Clan Mac Farlane, due to it’s access to the sea the Vikings used Arrochar as a base and dragged their boat two miles overland to attack the villages on Loch Lomond where they plundered all their Haggis, Neeps, Tatties and anything else they could get their hands on.

Not having any boats to drag, we elected to walk to the top of the nearest hill . We were unanimous in our decision that this is the real Scotland.

Jen demonstrating “The Real Scotland”.

By the way, after considerable aggravation I was finally able to procure a new pair of walking shoes. The old ones having become bald on the underside and starting to smell like a cross between burnt electrical wiring and a horse stable in need of a good clean. Below are the brand new waterproof, hiking boots. Unfortunately by the end of the day they proved not to be quite waterproof, if you go knee deep into “the bog” they will fill up with ooze. This may precipitate (as in lead to, not the rain type, there’s enough of that already) the purchase another new pair of dry shoes.

For those planning a  trip to Scotland I have started to compile a list of local delicacies they include so far:

Cullen Skink.

Haggis Neeps and Tatties.

Haggis stuffed chicken breast.

Black Pudding, White Pudding and Red Pudding

Porridge with salt.

Potato scones.

My old walking shoe fritters.

Look up slightly and squint your eyes, ignore the traffic noise and concentrate on the drab grey stone monochromatic buildings each with multiple chimneys, imagine the coal smoke wafting from every house, let the cold mist roll over you and half obscure this image you have created, then you get a feel for the Edinburgh of old.

I wouldn’t want to have lived here then and I am pretty certain I wouldn’t want to live here now. The weather is dreadful…. Full Stop! Places like this spawned songs like “We gotta get out of this place” written by Mann and Web and recorded by The Animals in the mid 60’s.

“In this dirty old part of the city
Where the sun refused to shine”

The song was actually referring to Newcastle on Tyne but the lyrics retain applicability.

To harsh? Perhaps. Edinburgh is a very picturesque city the architecture is great, the coal smoke gone, the people are friendly (with the exception of those suffering from tourist overload) and the weather, well I guess for a few days mid summer it’s probably liveable, and there’s always the attraction of a baked potato stuffed with haggis for a walk around snack…. Yum.

Street-scapes.

Then

Now

Below, a couple of characters from the Fringe.

On the way to Arrochar we called in at Luss, a cute little model village that has been used extensively for British television.

The Kirk.

Previous town residents.

View from the Dock on the Loch.

Evolution at work.

a easyJet has at least four notable components, it’s cheap, its late, its uncomfortable and as it uses Area 51 of the Copenhagen Airport, so if it’s raining you get your luggage washed for free (yet again). As a result we arrived at our little house at about 1 ante meridiem, which for those who have forgotten their Latin is one of the clock before midday.  Jens Olsen definitely knew this when he designed his clock however the current keepers of the clock have obviously forgotten.

August is Fringe Festival time in Edinburgh and being unaware of that we allocated just one and a wee bit days in town, Marija did give us a heads up however we had already booked. You may have noticed that I used the local vernacular for small, it doesn’t take me long to become multilingual. By the time we get back I will know at least one word from six or eight different languages counting English naturally.

Edinburgh is damp and overcast and looks like staying that way for a few days at least, 12 to 19 degrees and scotch mist, not surprising really.

So the lightning tour of Edinburgh today.

First up a look around the outside of Liz’s Scottish Summer House (Holyrood). Looks pretty good from the outside but we were unprepared to ante up thirty odd bucks a head to see where Liz parks the corgis in summer.

A walk to Arthur’s Seat in Holyrood Park with ghostly figures moving in and out of the mist as it rolled over the hill. You would definitely have to pick a clear day to have a decent battle here, no point getting all geared up for a good fracas only to have the war declared a draw on account of mist.

Friend ot Foe?

Jen on The Hill

Next up The Royal Mile and the Fringe Festival, every building seems to be a venue. The locals may hate it but it’s a huge money spinner, there’s a hundred page plus guide to make sure you see it all.

Up the hill to Edinburgh Castle where there’s a Military Tattoo every night of the Fringe Festival, this is followed by fireworks at 10 post meridiem (more Latin).

We cruised Greyfriars Kirkyard and with a grey wet weather coat on and hood up in drizzling rain I felt a little monk like. Greyfriers is named for the Franciscan friary that was on the site and the monks wore grey robes.

Ghouls?

Last tourist spot, the Scott monument to Scottish author Sir Walter Scott, who wrote Scottish stories about Scottish folk in Scotland. That’s a lot of Scotch….Hmmmmm. Hey how about tomorrow we forget all this tourist hoo har and sample the local wares.

Scott monument with free birds and bonus Ferris wheel.

By the way if you need a new pair of shoes don’t bother going to Cotswold Outdoors in Edinburgh because they shut at 6 post meridiem and if you turn up at 5.55 post meridiem they will just tell you that 5 minutes is not enough time to buy shoes, even if you have the shoes in one hand and the credit card in the other. Apparently they were closing “och aye the noo” (Oh yes just now). Muppets!

Part 1.

Last day in Copenhagen and we had a quick look from the  top of Christiansborg Tower to see if we missed anything. We had of course but you cant see everything. Rain threatening we retired to the nearest Irish Pub (because that’s what you do in Copenhagen) for a pint and a snack. Post snacks and still threatening more rain we hopped the metro (because that’s what you do in Copenhagen) for the airport with five hours to spare before we fly out. We had plenty of time to check baggage, pick up a bottle of Roku duty free gin, clear security and amble to our gate (because that’s what you do in Copenhagen).

From The Tower

Panoramma

Part 2.

AREA 51 it is the United States Air Force facility and is a highly classified remote detachment of the Edwards Air Force Base. The emphasis being on remote detachment. It in the Nevada Desert miles from anything no living things for miles just sand, scorpions, rattle snakes, the odd tumble-weed and the occasional Alien.

AREA 51 (Home of Aliens)

Part 3.

Copenhagen airport as it turns out houses the Danish equivalent of AREA 51 our boarding pass showed  Easy Jet boarding at Gate F. Gate F, I am confident is Danish for AREA 51. Gate F is a remote detachment of the Copenhagen Airport Terminal removed from anything resembling human habitation, no living things for miles just sand, scorpions, rattle snakes the odd tumble-weedand the occasional Alien …….. Any further from Copenhagen we would have had to clear Swedish immigration to fly out.

GATE F (Home of easyJet)

By the way our flight was delayed (because that’s what you……).

Jens Olsen was a locksmith who turned clockmaker and designed the famous “World Clock” that lives in Copenhagen Town Hall. Jens was there for the start of the clocks construction but died ten years before it was finished, not surprising when you consider the clock has twelve separate clock movements working in unison and there are a total 15,448 parts in the clock, the fastest gear revolves once every ten seconds and the slowest once every 25,753 years.

Now this is all very well and good in theory but….. and before I go any further I should point out that I am no expert on clocks, it seems to me that the slow gear is going to take more than the calculated 25,753 years to do the single rotation. How so you ask, well I answer, we visited the clock today, marvellous piece of work that it is and I identified one simple flaw, when we visited at 11 am this morning the clock read 11.40am, worse yet it also read 16 December 2017. Most people seemed to think that the clock was just very slow to move but in fact if it moved any slower it would be running in reverse. It’s supposed to be wound up weekly so maybe the clock winder has gone on long service leave or lost the key, who knows there was no explanation such as… “Oh! um sorry about the clock not working we appreciate that you have come half way round the world to see this fantastic feat of astrological engineering but the clock winder’s dog ate the key and Jens didn’t make a spare, so how about a pastry instead….it’s Danish.”

Jen looking at Jens’ Clock.

Næste stop to use the local phrase was The Glyptotek (from the Greek glypto or carve and theke or storage place). The Danes really like sculptures they are everywhere.

Dragon

This one for Bec and James…. “Ed’s Heads”

The only thing the Danes seem to like more than statues is bicycles.

Metro Station.

Oh and Beer of course.

At Carlsberg with Carlsberg Umbrella, Blanket and Beer. Oh and thats Garry looking bemused.

By the way we are off to Scotland tomorrow so naturally it started to rain today, not that I want to be a wee crabbit. Must start practising the Scottish.

The Danes (notice I didn’t use Danish, that’s a pastry) are really big on Sagas. Ynglinga Saga was written by Snorri Sturluson an Icelandic poet in Old Norse around 1225. Snorri (possibly an affectionate name given him by his wife Wakeful) tells the story of how Gefion the goddess ploughed the island of Zealand out of Sweden. The Swedish king Gylfe offered the goddess Gefion as much land as she was capable of ploughing within one day and one night. She transformed her four sons into immensely powerful oxen and had them plough so deeply in the ground that they raised the land and pulled it into the sea. This is how the island of Zealand was created. The lake Vännern in Sweden approximately resembles the shape of Zealand, proving that there must be some truth in the story.

Gefion and “The Boys”.

Parental guidance.

The Little Mermaid was commissioned by Carl Jacobsen of Carlsberg (the beer company) as a gift to Copenhagen. The statue was made by Danish sculptor Edvard Eriksen and completed in 1913. The Little Mermaid was meant to be modelled after contemporary ballerina Ellen Price, but as she refused to model nude, the Mermaid was in fact modelled after Edvard Eriksen’s wife, Eline. The statue is not well liked in Copenhagen, having been beheaded three times painted several times, had an arm ripped off (very Aunty Jack for those familiar with the Auntie Jack Show) and even blown up. Despite all this the statue of Hans Christen Anderson’s Little Mermaid is the most photographed stature in Denmark! More popular than the Norse Goddess Gefion……. the mind boggles!

This Guy seems keen on getting up and close with Ms. Mermaid, his wife ready with camera to record the event.

Mermaid complete with head , limbs, and unpainted.

However it’s not all about the statues.There’s the boats, old and new.

The Royal Yacht.

Not so Royal Yacht.

The buildings, old and new.

And other stuff.

One last statue. The Valkyrie.

By the way the Valkyrie is French (1908) not Danish.

Last breakfast at Helsinki and I spotted the genuine Apple iPad juice machine. Tap to select drink and it dispenses…….. you guessed it, “Apple Juice”. This is the must have app for juice lovers! I’m not sure where the juice is stored but it has orange, water, etc. The orange is pulp free but I did detect small particles, maybe microchips?

Apple dispensing Orange, I’m not sure about BlackBerry.

Originally a Viking fishing village founded in the 10th century, Copenhagen became the capital of Denmark in the early 15th century it sits on the coastal islands of Zealand and Amager.

It would appear there are two options when exploring Copenhagen.

OPTION 1 goes a bit like this:

Indre By, the city’s historic centre, contains Frederiksstaden, an 18th-century rococo district and home to the royal family’s Palace. Nearby is Christiansborg Palace and the Renaissance-era Rosenborg Castle, surrounded by gardens and home to the crown jewels.

OPTION 2 on the other hand According to Lonely Planet:

“Copenhagen is the epitome of Scandi cool. Modernist lamps light New Nordic tables, bridges buzz with cycling commuters and eye-candy locals dive into pristine waterways.”

“Scandi cool”, really, I’m going with option 1. We may even add some Aus cool but I doubt it Garry left his Speedos at home (sigh of relief).

We arrived a bit late as the plane suffered some sort of mid plane internal upset at Helsinki and had to be coaxed back into service. The mechanic who spent some time shaking and scratching his head seemed to have a few bits and pieces left over after the surgery however they must not have been critical as we arrived in Copenhagen intact.