A week ago we were in forty degree Celsius heat, last night in the Snowy Mountains we were met by two degrees Celsius and icy winds. With some creative navigation (and a little luck) we managed to locate “The Cabin In The Woods” thus allowing us to sleep inside where it was a balmy four degrees Celsius. This unfortunately only lasted until the fire wood ran out at which time the temperature outside may have been incrementally warmer. All I know is I awoke in the morning thinking I was a candidate for some sort of trans-gender experiment.

By the way…. That’s about it. After a round about tour of the Brindabella Ranges we made it to the coastal Sanctuary Point Holiday House where the wind continues to blow.

Cast and Crew: Peter, Garry and myself.

Fuel: Lots and lots.

Kilometers: Many. 7,600 Kilometers in 16 days.

Route: Richmond, Narrabri, Wee Waa, Lightning Ridge, Quilpie, Boulia, Birdsville, Tropic Of Capricorn, Alice Springs, Finke Gorge, West Macdonell Ranges, Lambert’s Centre, Woomera, Coober Pedy, (Port Augusta), Burra, Lake Mungo, The Snowy Mountains, Sanctuary Point and many other places with strange names then back to Grose Vale.

Happy Birthday to Peter and Garry may they both enjoy many more trips even without the help of Yarrangabilly’s waters.

Once again, I’m out of here. Thank you linesmen thank you ball boys.

In this episode I attempt to identify the real Willy Wonker . To conduct the research I have chosen the Junee Licorice and Chocolate Factory as there is no actual Willy Wonker factory….. sorry kids, you have been hoodwinked, there is no river of chocolate no Oompa-Loompas it’s all pretense and no one feels more shorted than me!

Willy proved to be illusive however a couple of Ommpa-Loompas were recorded.

From Junee via the Snowy Mountains which will take us to Yarrangabilly and into the tomorrow-land episode…… The Cabin In The Woods.

The Yarrangabilly Thermal Fountain of Youth was out of order the day we visited, Pete spent many minutes in the magical waters for no obvious benefit.

By the way….. The Fountain of Youth has never worked. It’s a bit like the Chocolate Factory, FALLACIOUS! I have tried it twice now and although it has kept me middle-aged I’m no younger.

Written history dates back to about three o’clock Wednesday afternoon in the year five thousand BCE or roughly seven thousand years ago. In 1968 and again in 1974 the remains of two people were found at Lake Mungo. The two individuals, one male one female, are thought to be six times older than recorded history and they are far from the oldest humans ever found. That’s all I’m prepared to say on the matter.

The now dry Lake Mungo

By the way….

1. The Thylacine (Tasmanian Tiger, above) once found all over mainland Australia went extinct about 3200 years ago due to the introduction of the Dingo (native dog) bought here by the early aboriginal settlers. The last recorded Thylacine died in a zoo in Tasmania in 1936. Food for thought.

2. The self guided tour and loop track were closed due to “poor road surface” and as the ranger said while looking to the sky “some other ongoing issues”.

Port Augusta is sometimes referred to as the Crossroads of Australia because it is located where major highways meet, serving as a major gateway to the Flinders Ranges, the outback, and the Nullarbor Plain and that’s about it for Port Augusta. Pete’s brother Garry was supposed to pick up some stuff from someone to deliver to someone else in N.S.W. however that got cancelled so I guess Port Augusta nearly made it as a transport hub.

As a result of the transport cancellation we by-passed the main town and headed straight for Burra, an old mining town and due to our extreme flexibility and disdain of bad weather booked into an old Cornish miners cottage for the night.

We were due to meet Ding at 10am however Ding has moved the meet back to lunchtime so we will have to soak up some history for a few hours.

UPDATE. Ding has now cancelled the meeting, apparently lots of things are getting cancelled. So that’s just more history and pictures.

By the way ……Were you wondering who Ding is? Well Ding is an enigmatic individual who, whilst in the employ of The Royal Australian Air Force was left too long in a room full of highly sensitive microwave generated information. Ding is now on a pension as a result. So whats Ding’s real name…. not even Ding’s mother has that level of clearance.

The Woomera Prohibited Area is the largest land-based missile and rocket range in the western world. Initially a joint project between Britain and Australia, the site continues to host space activities for Australian and international defense and aerospace organizations. Woomera was also chosen as the best location for Deep Space Station 41. However there is too much history to list here.

By the way….A woomera is an Australian Aboriginal wooden spear throwing device. But you already knew that. What you may not know is that David Bowie’s iconic character Major Tom was based on Doctor David Bowman, who was played by Keir Dullea in Stanley Kubrick’s film 2001: A Space Odyssey. Bowie began writing “Space Oddity” six months after seeing the movie, which was released in May 1968.

Did you find the Hart?

Originally dubbed the Afghan Express, The Ghan train was named for the pioneering cameleers who blazed a permanent trail into the Red Centre of Australia.

Middle Earth (or for our purposes the geographic centre of Australia) known as Lambert’s Centre was established to honour cartographer, Dr Bruce Lambert, one of Australia’s top cartographers.

By the way …… Tonight we return to the underground of our forebears “Far, far below the deepest delving of the Dwarves, the world is gnawed by nameless things. Even Sauron knows them not. They are older than he.” In short we are staying in an underground motel in Coober Pedy.

The West MacDonnell Ranges, known as Tjoritja to the local Aranda people, are a mountain range west of Alice Springs , famous for their rugged beauty, gorges, and cultural significance. The most popular time to visit is during the cooler months of April–September so we are going in November to get the full experience of maximum heat and flies. There will be less people though since people generally heed Noël Coward’s warning that “Mad Dogs and Englishmen go out in the midday sun” (a song written for his The Third Little Show at the Music Box Theatre, New York, on 1 June 1931.)

So we did the West Mac Ranges as the locals recognize it and it took its toll in various ways. I unsuccessfully battled a spiky palm in palm valley and waded through crotch deep water. The ute battled unmarked water crossings up to door height and survived. Peter, forced to walk more than his usual literally walked the sole off his right shoe. Pictures naturally follow.

By the way ….. Gandalf is about to be taken up! and we are heading for air conditioned Alice (Alice, Alice, who the …… is Alice)

CLICK PICS TO MAKE BIG.

Part two of Peter’s big day out and we have left Birdsville and are heading for Alice Springs. On our way we will have to negotiate the MinMin lights, forty two degree heat and various other hazards (emus, kangaroos, cows, eagles and the possible onset of respiratory infections like asthma and colds, gastrointestinal illnesses such as gastroenteritis, and skin infections like impetigo and hand, foot, and mouth disease). Fortunately our large wooden medical kit well equipped with tinctures (described by Merriam Websters dictionary as “a solution of a medicinal substance in an alcoholic solvent“) so I have no reason to think that we will not prevail in our quest. My only concern is what the actual quest is! Anyway to the photographic evidence.

By the way…… 1. Pete’s brother was 76 today, he is the one with the beard and glasses. 2. We saw no MInMIn lights and the tinctures kept all other woes at bay and 3. We are currently sitting in the dark as we are blacked out in our fancy cabin at Alice Springs.

Tomorrow …. Finke Gorge weather permitting.