Kununurra is home to the Ord River scheme. Like so many other experiments in tropical agriculture the scheme initially failed because of difficulties growing crops and attack from pests. Today the irrigated areas successfully produce a variety of fruits and vegetables, with the most recent crop being sandalwood. Indian sandalwood oil sells for $4500 a litre to perfume manufacturers which would be why indian sandalwood is estimated to account for about 60 per cent of the total farming area around Kununurra, about 3500 hectares, and has replaced food crops such as melons, pumpkins, legumes, chick peas and bananas. Apparently some people like to smell like sandals….. better than smelling like a thong I guess. In the USA it would be better than smelling like a flip flop and the joke just wouldn’t work.

Things to see and do around Kununurra.

1. Watch the Bats.

Every night tens of thousands of bats fly over the town from the southwest heading for god knows where. Having smelt a bat colony first hand my guess is that they are headed for the sandalwood oil for a quick freshen up. Besides there is a good chance they have already cleaned up the fruit crops.

2. The noon bottle shop rush.

Alcohol restrictions in Kununurra are such that the suppliers only trade between noon and eight pm. More enlightened prospective purchasers begin to from queues early as supplies of daily specials are sometimes inadequate leading to angst and confrontation later in the sales period. Coles Liquorland is closed permanently due to frequent affrays.

3. Cane toad catching.

The caravan park supplies butterfly nets and a storage box for the little rascals. The infamous cane toad, introduced to control sugar cane beetles in Queensland in the mid nineteen thirties, has finally completed its migration into Western Australia. Having no natural predators in Australia it has thrived and become a bigger pest than the cane beetle ever was. Unfortunately he toads were unsuccessful at getting rid of the beetles as the beetles live at the top of the sugar cane and the toads live at the bottom and toads don’t climb very well. What the toads did do however was eat a significant proportion of native fauna instead. To compound the effect on native wildlife the cane toad is poisonous and anything that eats it dies of the toxin produced by the toad, rather painfully I might add.

4. Ring the Commonwealth Bank Insurance Company to check on your damaged vehicle claim.

This is guaranteed to fill in at least an hour, unfortunately the rewards are small, however the people are very apologetic about their inability to do anything to help you.

5. The black out sweepstakes.

This is where you gamble on when (not if but when) and for how long each day the power will be out in Kununurra. I’ve down for 10 am and 6 hours today. The fruit bats and large birds supposedly short out the overhead wires, frying themselves in the process. Personally I think the power supplier just turns the generator off to give the locals something to talk about or maybe to save fuel. Who knows?

6. Climb Kelly’s Knob.

A walking trail leads to the top of Kelly’s Knob (a large hill in Kununurra) at the top you are rewarded by a view of “the town” and a sign saying that “the communication equipment that you are now standing next to could start automatically at any time and emit high levels of radiation that could cause damage to eyes (blindness) and loss of brain function”. I stopped reading at this point and set a new record for the 1000 metre downhill run.

7. Go to an unnamed local caravan park and listen to the local artist perform covers of “all time great songs” with factory-made electronic backing sounds.

This experience could be significantly enhanced if the singing and backing were in the same key. I’m not saying the singer is off key, I’m sure its the backing sounds. In any event “Stand By Me”’ made a crying baby sound agreeable. Removable hearing aids never looked more attractive. This experience is comparable to climbing Kelly’s Knob only the damage is done to the aural senses.

Serious Kununurra attractions.

1. Lake Argyle tour. Explore the Ord River Scheme an engineering marvel or environmental mess, depending on your point of view.
2. Visit the Zebra Rock Gallery. Woo-Hoo black and white striped rocks.
3. Check out the pink diamond shops. Secret women’s business.
4. Go to the Hoochery. And don’t buy the Rum just the cake and cream.
5. Go to the Ivanhoe Farm Café for lunch under a giant Mango tree. Very nice.

If you don’t trip and fall the radiation will probably get you.

The Mighty Town of Kununurra from the radiation lookout.