Let it be known that on the Ninth of July 2015 after 57 years of living in Australia, apparently under false pretenses, I became a citizen of the land down under and I now claim dual nationality English and Australian. I know, I know….. it’s been a long time coming but I have been busy going to school, working, paying taxes, getting married, having children, paying more taxes, having a short holiday, then more work, more taxes… you get the picture. Truth is I have always considered myself as  Australian as the next person being as how my parents were invited here by the Australian government back in 1958.

Notes on becoming an Australian:

Before being considered as a candidate I had to demonstrate that

a. I was here

b. I was allowed to be here based on historical fact and

c. and this is the big one, I had to promise that I was not now or have ever been a terrorist.

Fortunately I was able to do all three things. I must say it’s a good thing we have that crucial third test or all sorts of lying terrorist types would be able to infiltrate this great country.

Six months later it was off to the ceremony….

I had to register to vote, something I have been doing for the last forty five years. This leads me to wondering if perhaps the results of several “close call” elections would have been different if I had not been voting. I remember the milk monitor vote at Windsor Primary been a close run and hotly contested election back in the summer of sixty two.

People much younger than me and who had been here much less time than me spent a fair amount of time telling me how privileged I was to be accepted by them to their great country. I appreciate the sentiment, however I would have preferred that an Aboriginal welcomed me being as how us English have been welcoming ourselves and helping ourselves  to this country for over two hundred years (and several others for much longer). I’m not ungrateful just confused as to why there were no “traditional owners” at the festivities. I suspect they don’t want me, moreover they may not even want you, have you checked?

The band played Waltzing Matilda no less than three times and every one sung along (if only to themselves). The National anthem got a single look in and only the choir knew the words to the second verse. Do you know them, be honest now!

I got a tax refund! This was in the form of a specially minted one dollar citizenship coin. Unfortunately it is dated 2014. Oh well I will still treasure it.

Anyway having been told that “I am, your are, we are Aastraliunz” by the well tuned, and heavily supported by the band, choir of greying non-waltzing matildas and two fellas, I was granted a certificate of citizenship of which I am mighty proud.  I will no doubt spend some time deciding what place of honour to keep aforementioned certificate.

After the ceremony my new best mate Kim (Mayor of Hawkesbury City Council) treated me to a meat pie and lamington, (traditional Ozzie food) washed down with a cold glass of Coke. Vegemite was conspicuous by it’s absence probably being deemed to radical for us new comers …maybe at the first anniversary, come on Kim Maaaaate.  Give me Kangaroo fillet and a Coopers Pale Ale any day. Note to self.. when next down the ruberty throwing back schooies with me new mate Kimbo, we’ll have to have a yarn about putting Vegemite sangers and maybe paverlova on the me and you. (translation: When next at the local hotel drinking fine Australian Ale with my new found acquaintance Kim we should discuss the plausibility of including Vegemite sandwiches and perhaps Pavlova on the menu.)

Genuine Meat Pie

Genuine Lamington

To celebrate  the head rabbit and myself along with some fellow citizens will be off for a tour of the great north west of Oz in part so I can survey my new home.

Oh.. By the way, I can now get a cheaper passport not that it was in any way a motivating factor.