22 Mar 2013

After the end of the Desert Marathon and the commiserations at the Birdsville Hotel it dawned on me that we were still two thousand kilometers from home and that a large slab of that would be on dirt road.

With a driver that perceives every dirt road as an off-road race challenge, every sand dune an opportunity to see exactly how much further than the time before it is possible to proceed with all four wheels clear of the ground and every corner a chance to see if two and a half tonnes of four-wheel drive will stay upright while driven sideways, I was perhaps a little concerned. As your get older the years become more precious. The next plane from Birdsville being four days away I climbed up and into the aging and heavily modified Toyota Landcruiser that in an earlier incarnation ferried the kids to sporting ventures.

To be fair, to date, we have survived quite well the only serious damage being a couple of broken body mounts that hold the body to the chassis of the car. These I am told are of little consequence as they were broken well before we left, apparently damaged when the car “slipped” of the driveway and came to rest on its side . Twitching a few loose wires together and remounting the battery carrier with cable ties before the battery falls into the radiator fan blade and becomes the worlds first lead-acid milkshake are regarded as general ongoing maintenance in four-wheel drive circles. The problem with the back door not shutting was quickly if not quietly remedied with a few well place smacks with a nine pound lump hammer. A similar technique was used on the high beam headlight relay a screwdriver being substituted for the lump hammer.

The final photo shot at the Big Red sand dune completed we rattled off to Innaminka enjoying the balmy forty-five degree weather we have grown to love in the last two weeks. Innaminka is a fantastic spot on Coopers Creek. A haven for all types of fauna including the four-wheel drive mounted type who universally agreed that the air-conditioned pub with ice-cold beer was its greatest attraction.

23 Mar 2013

The rabbit no doubt ran as fast as it could but unfortunately didn’t miss the train or should I say the train didn’t miss it. Forty five tonnes or road train can make quite a mess of a two kilogram bunny. The one point eight metre wingspan eagle didn’t seem to mind, the rabbit was after all fresh and pre minced.

Next Stops Cameron Corner and Tibooburra.

 

 

24 Mar 2013 A Travelers Guide To Tibooburra

The Ayrton Senna of the desert slept in this morning so I had a chance to do some sight-seeing around the outback metropolis of Tibooburra. After an hour I had a pretty good idea what goes on in town.

Two Local Characters

The first local I met was Little. Little used to live at the hotel but became restless and took up an offer to move down the road a few doors. When I first saw Little she was just waking from a good nights sleep the middle of the main street, which is not as hazardous as you might think as not a lot of traffic runs through town and little as her name suggests is quite small. Little has a son who, for reasons that never became clear during the coffee and muffin we shared for breakfast was named Flowie.

 

Architecture and Landscape

The Centenary Celebration Shed was specially painted to celebrate the centenary of the founding of Tibooburra in September of eighteen hundred and eighty one. The two Ford Lasers were built about a hundred years after.

 

The Unusual Rock Display showcases unusual rocks the have been selected by hand and placed artistically around the garden of one of the several caravan parks in town.

 

The Responsive Flexible Solutions building houses the Roads and Traffic Authority’s answer to fixing country roads. As the name suggests they respond to complains about the roads by coming up with flexible solutions. I suspect that RFS is the bureaucratic equivalent of make it up as you go along.

 

The Tibooburra Community Village Inc. building was closed so I’m not to sure what their mandate is but I suspect it involves trees, in particular petrified trees. They do  have a seven metre ( 21 ft.) long lump of petrified tree in a glass display case out the front after all. It was a bit hard to see as the glass was very dusty, however I am confident that petrified tree enthusiasts will get a kick out of it.

 

The Tibooburra Corner Drive In Theatre is quite possibly the worlds only corner drive in theatre and has the added distinction of being built on the site of not only Tibooburra’s first public school but is second as well.

 

The Pastures Protection Office houses those who protect the pastures around these parts. We have one down were we live and each year they sent us a bill for protecting our pastures and checking on the livestock holdings on our property. We by the way have no pastures or livestock on our forty acre property that is zoned “scenic environmental” as properties of the “scenic environmental” variety can not be used for such purposes. As you can imagine I fully support their existence especially when they do so much to stop the wholesale mining our country. That was sarcasm by the way.

 

The Albert Hall. Not the Royal Albert Hall but the Tibooburra Albert Hall is conveniently located next to the Country Women’s Association Hall. Many a lamington has been washed down with a cup of Lipton’s after the annual eisteddfod here on a balmy summers eve I’ll wager. These days the only songbirds seem to be the ones nesting in the roof space. They ensured the undivided attention of Little and Flowie at least.

 

 

The Centre for Central Australian Souvenirs boasts a large collecting of memorabilia and tourists are invited to come in and “take a trip down memory lane”. I noted the Mobil service station sign hidden in the front garden and was immediately transported back in time, for it was as long ago as the day before yesterday that I had spotted a very similar sign at Birdsville (that one was still attached to the building however). Again, unfortunately the Centre for Central Australian Souvenirs was closed so I was unable to trip any further down memory lane.

 

I have no idea who or what the Milparinka/Tibooburra Isolated Childrens Parents Association is but I threw a couple of coins down the well because Little was looking at me and I didn’t want her to think I didn’t care.

 

The Tibooburra Court House is now a museum. There is no crime in Tibooburra so they converted the court house into a museum so they could “take a trip down memory lane”. Amalgamating the Centre For Central Australian Souvenirs and The Court House Museum to facilitate the collection of all the memories in one convenient location could be a proposal for next Tibooburra Community Village Inc. meeting to consider. It will no doubt be held at the Albert Hall and fully catered by the CWA.

 

The Village Store in the centre of the main street has the cheapest fuel in town and plays real country music. The Johnny Horton, Frankie Laine type, about mule skinners and such, originally recorded and faithfully played back on the Edison phonograph. For seven bucks you can have a mug of coffee and a muffin. I misinterpreted the muffin menu thinking it was a choice of banana or choc chip. It turned out to be a banana/choc chip combination muffin. I am not a big fan of chocolate chips in my muffins so I endeavored to eat around them, no easy task when the muffins been through the microwave.

A chalkboard sign boasted…. “we have the best muffins in town”…. call me strange, and I know you do, but if I had the best muffins in town I think I like to have it printed on a tee shirt. Maybe they are expecting a muffin challenge and don’t want to be left with a wardrobe full of boastful tee shirts. How about a best muffins in town 2013 tee shirt, then in say ten years time they could wear it to The Centre for Central Australian Souvenirs and “take a trip down memory lane”.

 

Tibooburra is a great little town full of friendly people and cats and I recommend it to you unreservedly. If you happen to be nearby pop in for a muffin, cheap fuel, a trip down memory lane and say hello to Little and Flowie for me.

9th. March 2013

On the 19th. of March 2013 John Howe will attempt to set the world record for the fastest crossing of  the Simpson Desert by foot …….. and I am going to watch!

The route takes John through three states and apart from running over a thousand sand dunes with temperatures over 40 degrees celsius  John has to come in at less than 3 days 8 hr 36 min. (Pat Farmers 1998 record time).

I will be traveling with the support crew who will make sure John does not slack off on the 397 klm. run across one of the most inhospitable places on earth.

Desert Facts

The Simpson Desert is the world’s largest sand dune desert, of 170,000 km² (the size of England  Wales combined).

Charles Sturt was the first European to see the Desert when he visited the area in 1844-46.

Some of the heaviest rain in decades occurred during 2009-2010, and has seen the Simpson Desert burst into life and colour. Rain inundated Queensland’s north-west and Gulf regions. A total of 17 million megalitres of water entered the State’s western river systems leading to Lake Eyre and in 2010 researchers uncovered the courses of ancient river systems under the desert.

The flora of the Simpson Desert ecoregion is limited to drought-resistant shrubs and grasses which hold the dunes together.

The extensive dunefields of the Simpson Desert display a range of colours from brilliant white to dark red and include pinks and oranges.

The sand ridges have a trend of SSE-NNW and continue parallel for kilometers. This pattern is seen throughout the deserts of Australia.  Some of the ridges continue unbroken for up to 200 km. The height and the spacing between the ridges are directly related. Where there are 5-6 ridges in a kilometre, the height is around 15 meters but when there is one or two ridges per kilometre the height increases to 35–38 meters.

The Run Facts

Dead simple…..The run starts at Alka Seltzer Bore and follows the French Line for 217 km  to Poepple Corner, then continues along the QAA Line for 162 km  to the finish in Birdsville.

Check out John’s web site at http://www.johnhowe.com.au

10 Mar 2013 Way Out West

After a last minute oil change we are off to Alice Springs to meet John Howe for the start of his world record attempt, and surprise surprise the air conditioning doesn’t work and it’s Sunday. Well if John can run through a 40 degree desert we should be able to sit through it.

Out past Mudgee, Naromine and our first camp at Nyngan its flat green and hot and likely to get hotter. Our mobile medic Wayne suggests drinking six or more beers to forestall dehydration. I always thought that alcohol increased the risk of dehydration, but hey, who am I to argue with a qualified medic.

The star of our show, John will be flying into Alice Springs to start the run in about a week so we have plenty of time to get there. An advance party from Great Divide Tours is crossing the desert ahead of us to peg out any hazards such as impassable dunes or boggy salt pans as they vary from year to year according to wind and rain.

Our exact location can be tracked for the next 3 weeks via a signal beamed from the crew vehicles to John Howe’s web site www.johnhowe.com.au/ or www.greatdividetours.com.au click on the one man one desert one dream logo.

11 Mar 2013 Goats Cheese

We entered Queensland through the big steel gate designed by Pauline Hanson to keep the illegal immigrants out of HER state at least. We had a quick drink at the Royal Mail Hotel at Hungerford and headed for Kilcowera Station, a cute little farm-let of just under two hundred thousand acres.

The feral goat situation out here is being addressed to some extent by these guys…

Feral Enterprises, two road trains full of goats at $35 per head equals jobs, profit and less ferals. I cant help but wonder what they do with the goats. Mrs. Mac’s Pies, Greek restaurants maybe?

12 Mar 2013 Bored to Death

Back in 1940 a local contractor, James Callaghan, was working for a local farmer drilling a bore hole for water. James was in debt for a large amount of money and to try and catch up he decided to tell the farmer he had drilled down over 900 feet not the actual depth of just over 400 feet. He was being paid a shilling a foot to sink the bore and in 1940 that was a fair sum, so James stood to make quite a bit from the scam.

James had a worker, William Groves, who he hadn’t paid in a long time and as a result James owed him quite a bit of money. When William threatened to tell the farmer about the scam James decided that he could improve his financial position even further by doing away with his  troublesome worker. The net result would be that James would get twice what the bore was worth and would not have to pay William his wages.

Plan hatched, James whacked William on the back of his balding noodle, piled up a heap of mulga wood and cremated poor old William. He then trampled William’s dried bones into little fragments. This being done he threw the bones down the bore hole.

As William was 65 years old, of sober habits and not given to wandering off the locals became concerned and called in the police. After twenty six days the police, who had noticed signs of a large fire, put two and two together and withdrew bone fragments from the bore hole all of which were only about a inch square. Dr. Derick, a local with an interest in boney things, spent some time examining the fragments and eventually rebuilt a linea aspera a bone unique to the human skeleton. Shortly after a root of a human tooth was found amongst the fragments and Jimmy’s goose was cooked. He went to gaol for life. But that’s got to be better than being bored to death.

12 Mar 2013 Time Travel

Observation: The more people in a group the longer it takes for anything to happen.

Example: If one person going on a picnic – He or She packs and then goes. If two people go on a picnic they – liaise, discuss menu, discuss location, discuss timing, discuss mode of transport etc. etc. etc.

Now add few more people and the logistics worsen making it increasingly difficult for anything to happen. The more people the slower the process, in fact from direct observation nothing seems to happen at all and time in fact appears to stand still.

Hypothesis: As the number of participants (N) approaches infinity the passage of time (T) approaches zero. That is to say if we have enough people planning a picnic time will stand still, at least for the prospective picnic participants. So relative to the rest of the world time would appear to run backwards. Eventually as a result of natural regression people would fail to have been born and the number of people planning the picnic would decrease … things would start to happen again and time would move forward relatively.

The formula T=N/f(n,X)+Rn demonstrates the theory where T = time, N = number of people, n = children, X = a big x, and R = relatives……. just whack a few numbers in and see how you go.

Conclusion: If you go away with a large group of people make sure the air conditioning in the car works otherwise you spend a lot of time standing in the sun waiting for decisions to be made and time will appear to stand still resulting in the formulation of basically flawed theorem…….. Hands up who wants to go on a picnic.

13 Mar 2013 Back On Track

A couple of road closures yesterday resulted in lengthy detours so we arrived at our destination a little late (very late). I won’t say that the lateness had anything to do with my time travel hypothesis because on suggesting it last evening I was labeled, and I clean this up for the children, “a flexible hessian receptacle for vociferous and ruttish rodents”. Any way we are now off to Boulia and hopefully I will be able to post some blog. don’t you just love this I.T. jargon.

14 Mar 2013 Boulia Business

The Min Min Lights are big Business in Boulia, in fact they are pretty much the only business. Part of aboriginal legend these lights in the night sky occurred more frequently after the Europeans moved in. Basically a Min Min light is a disc shaped light that appears close to the horizon and can move in any direction. Often moving toward and away from the observer, it will apparently retreat if fired at with a gun. Now I know the cynics will say it’s some drunk staggering about in the dark with a torch and that his natural response when fired at would be to run away. However you would think that after all that shooting in the dark that a dead body with a torch in it’s hand would have turned up.

More logical explanations include Fata Morgana (optical illusion), Geophysical Lights (light emitted from minerals in rocks etc.), or Bioluminescence (light from bugs that have been feeding on specific fungi).

My pick is the aboriginal explanation of the lights being spirit people. There were defiantly more spirits after the Europeans turned up (particularly rum). Whatever the explanation, be it mythical or scientific, I know one torch carrying, spirit filled little black duck that won’t be wandering the streets of Boulia after dark any time soon, just in case some gun toting local decides to check if I move away when shot at.

Oh, and here’s a picture of the crew at Boulia. Heading southwest tomorrow.

15 Mar 2013 Rocket Man Woman and Kids

We spent the night at Jervois Station in the Jervois Ranges named for South Australian Govornor Jervois in 1878. The Governor was a great advocate of a rail link to Darwin and stated that he would like to see it happen in his lifetime. It was finished in 2003 so he would have had to live to about one hundred and eighty to take the trip.

Jervois station boasts one of the rocket bunkers built to protect the locals from falling rockets launched from Woomera in the nineteen sixties. I suspect that they were to protect the white locals as they were only built at farms or stations. The thinking of the day obviously being that Aborigines were rocket proof.

We left Jevois at five fifteen in the AM to get to Alice Springs early enough to get a faulty Nissan repaired. About 30 Kilometers down the track we nearly cleaned up a bunch of the above mentioned rocket proof people who’s aging Landcruiser had lost a wheel the previous day. Being rocket proof they decided to camp on the road. We inquired about their rocket-proof-ness and if it also protected them from road trains. We rendered assistance and proceeded.

16 Mar 2013 Lay Day

Went to the West Macdonnell Range for some R and R, big mistake, way too hot for walking. One and a half hours saw us pretty much in need of a rest. How John Howe is going to run through this heat has most of us baffled, but I’m sure he knows what he’s in for. Months of  altitude and heat training will no doubt help. Everyone is getting excited about the run especially John who is in rest mode ready for the start. Pictures follow of Ormiston Gorge and Simpsons Gap critters.

Michael says it’s a scaly little critter. I had to agree and suggested the snake was too.

That’s right there four.

The two dingos were very people shy but is great to see them in the wild, they were no doubt down for a drink and some slow moving take away snacks.

The No Date Easter Message

It,s a bit quiet today and I started thinking about Easter……. god knows why.

Easter or Eostre as the old English called it is a Christian festival and holiday celebrating the resurrection of Jesus on the third day after his Crucifixion at Calvary. Easter is the culmination of the passion of Christ (no thanks to Mel Gibson), it is preceded by Lent, a forty-day period of fasting, prayer, and penance (cant see any of that happening). The last week of Lent is called Holy Week, and it contains the days of the Easter Tridumm, including Maundy Thursday (Holy Thursday in the Catholic Church), commemorating Maundy (the washing of the feet thing not the old song Maundy is washing day is everybody happy you bet your feet we are.) and the Last Supper as well as Good Friday. Good Friday commemorates the crucifixion of Jesus (Good Friday was better for some than others.) Easter is followed by a fifty-day period called Eastertide or the Easter Season, ending with Pentecost Sunday The festival is referred to in English by a variety of different names including Easter Sunday but in fact it comes from the Greek meaning the feast of weeks (this I can see catching on).

Easter is described as a movable feast (not in a picnic sort of way but more in an Einstein sort of way … in time and space). What this means is that it does not relate to the calender that you or I might use but is more based on the phases of the moon and the March equinox and results in Easter being anywhere from the 4^th of April to the 8^th of May.

We could get into the Jews, the Gregorian Calendar, the Julian Calendar, but we would still be scratching the surface of one festival of one of the minority religions.

We will be well and truly home for Easter and when all the Muslims and Hindus are hard at work over Easter and I for one will be contemplating that other great Jesus related story of the Immaculate Confection … or Easter Egg.

It’s funny how one becomes more religious when chocolate is involved.

That reminds me I must look into this Holy Communion thing I could go for a few crackers and a glass of red.

Sorry if this offends any of you Christians but in sure god will forgive me after all any press is good press.

Peace Brother sorry Sister.

17 Mar 2013 The Runner Has Landed

John picked up we are heading for the desert via the old Ghan Railway Line.

Everyone, including John, is keen to get the show on the road. Below are a couple of pictures from the airport and what happens when an eagle hits a windscreen. This time last year a localized storm flooded the area and the Mt. Dare Hotel where we camped the night had 30 centimeters of water running through it.

An interesting story regarding the Ghan Railway was listed on one of the signs…The train regularly broke down and the track was often damaged so delays were frequent. After a very lengthy delay a woman complained to the conductor that she had stomach pains. When asked what she thought it might be she said she thought she was going into labour. The guard was very upset and demanded to know why she had undertaken such an arduous journey in her condition. She responded with disdain “I wasn’t in this condition when I boarded your damn train”.

18 Mar 2013

Out from Mt. Dare to Dalhousie Springs and a quick swim in the 34 to 40 degree water and on to Alka Seltza Bore, otherwise known as “fly central”. Divide about 2,340,760,101 flies by 18 crew and that’s how many we had each to play with. I’ll save you the maths its 421,336,818.18 each.

Apart from the flies it’s also very dry out here and at thirty eight degrees and up we opt for the toasted sandwiches for lunch and pretend that there is actually a choice.

19 Mar 2013 In The Desert

Pre Dawn

The three thirty alarm saw everyone packing for the four thirty photo shoot and five am kick off, which happened as you would expect at exactly five am. I know this to be true because eighteen support crew members hit the stopwatch function on eighteen Casio G-Shock chronometers to time what hopefully will be a new world record.

John checked and rechecked every item of his running gear that would be his personal ecosystem for the next three days, the tension of the start began to show. With his special shoes and gaiters to keep the sand out and the twin quick change water bottles he looked not unlike like Astro Boy or The Rocket Man. Years of running and months of training and preparation are about to be tested.

2 PM

The desert run is divided into nine stages and two crews of three cars look after John as he runs. There is also a spare car and camera car. At the end of stage one John had covered seventy nine kilometers in ten hours and two minutes for an average of seven point nine kilometers per hour over sand dunes and spinifex. That puts him six hours ahead or the current record on average speed.

8 PM

Despite the two crew, nine stage system we are using we don’t look like getting much sleep. We have arrived at the end of stage two (our rest stage) however John is running at nearly eight kilometers an hour and we can only manage an eighteen kilometer an hour average through the dunes by car. By the time we have fed ourselves and had a short rest he will be running in to the end of this stage. John eats by slowing to a walk and drinks liter after liter of water in the thirty four degree heat. The diet includes bananas, potatoes, noodles, oats, and the like.

Why the summer? Why not run in the winter? Simple question. Simple answer. The current record was set when Pat Farmer ran to the Birdsville Hotel after his crossing on Australia Day 1998. The desert is now closed over the summer months. So to be a legitimate challenge to the record the run had to be planned as early as practical in the season and follow the exact route. We are to our knowledge the first legal crossing for 2013. Did I mention the flies, they have been waiting all summer for us all 2,340,760,101 of the little rascals, that’s 421,336,818.18 each.

20 Mar 2013

3 AM

The scout car from the second group of vehicles has just arrived, they have been driving with John since ten am yesterday. Pace has slowed due to the loss of a toenail, anesthetic free. John is still four kilometers out from our camp and still ahead of the record. Endurance running in hostile environments is the toughest game available and this is one of the toughest places on earth to play. We are all concerned for John but we all know he wont quit while he can still stand up. On the plus side we got a couple of hours of restive sleep.

22 hours, 130 kilometers and literally hundreds of dunes down. 246 kilometers to go. That’s roughly one third run in one day. John will be digging deep today.

6AM

After waiting three hours for John to run the last four kilometers to the end of stage two we all new something was wrong. When the support car turned up with John in the front seat we knew the run was finished. John suffering debilitating chest pain was forced to abandon his attempt to beat the clock to Birdsville.

8 AM

While two crew vehicle carry John the two hundred and fifty kilometers to Birdsville and medical attention we grabbed another short sleep and breakfast. We could be in Birdsville tonight and catch up on the news.

12 Noon

I caught up with our mobile medic who waited with John overnight and watched him stagger over half a dozen dunes till he finally collapsed, he is not discounting a pulmonary aneurism, possibly caused by stress from an internal injury. On a positive note John was unconcerned about his toenail loss or large blister on his foot saying that they went with the territory, which any distance runner will tell you is true. During my brief conversation with John at six am he said it was definitely not a running injury however the pain was unbearable, this from a man who runs deserts in his spare time and is therefore no stranger to pain.

2PM

We wont make Birdsville today due to our slow progress through the desert and our photo shoot commitments for Caltex at Poeppel Corner. One of the cars that went to Birdsville with John may come back and give us an update.

8 PM

As predicted we didn’t make Birdsville today, however from the top of the last sand dune before Birdsville (Big Red) we were able to get marginal phone reception. John was assessed by the Flying Doctor and given an ultrasound, the doctor wanted to fly him out but as John is flying to Sydney Friday he declared him well enough to wait an extra day. He has been referred to specialists for further tests so it will be a while before we know the whole story.

21 Mar 2013 Birdsville

Up at six to photograph the sunrise on Big Red and head to town for a shower. After four shower-free days I am having difficulty sleeping with myself but at least the flies have moved on to cleaner pastures. We may even celebrate by hitting the Birsvillle bakery for lunch once we showered, shaved, shampooed and put on our sunday-go-to-meeting clothes in the form of new t-shirt and shorts with freshly washed thongs (foot thongs that is).

Unfortunately the hotel is booked out tonight as there is a lot happening in Birdsville this week the most noteworthy being the Fred Brophy Boxing Tent. For those unfamiliar to the boxing tent it’s basically a traveling company of boxers who take on all comers. The contestant (local rube) wins money by whacking the daylights out of one of the troupe boxers, or makes a fool of himself if the reverse turns out to be the case. The boxing troupe make money by charging the contestants mates for the privilege of watching the blood fly.

It Has been suggested that some of our number may have a crack one of Fred’s up and coming pugilists. If this turns out to be the case rest assured yours truly will not be sitting in either the red or blue corner but on the stool located in the yellow corner and as far away from the action as possible to avoid being splattered by one of both of the combatant’s DNA.

Birdsville Nightlife

The Boxing Troupe turned out to be a no-show either they were tipped off about our boy’s skill in the ring or more likely the poster was an old one that had been left up.

It was dinner at the pub and drinks at eight dollars a shot. We didn’t drink too much.

Below are a few random crew photos with a couple of locals thrown in….pick the locals.

I’m going to bed!

22 Mar 2013 Any experience that doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.

Today is the day John Howe should have run through the door of the Birdsville Hotel and in to the record book.

It’s easy to say why bother in the first place, some people will never understand what motivates people to get out of there comfort zone. Why explore, study, question, compete, or do anything other than just exist. It’s human nature pure and simple, innate or learned we all do stuff we don’t have to do.

Most of us admire people that do the extraordinary, make a great movie, be the first to climb a mountain, or in our case run 400 odd kilometers in the desert.

John is already planning another crack at the record and I for one hope he succeeds next time.

All the crew would go through the discomfort of traveling the desert again to assist.

For now we are heading home.